Demons

Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms...Ephesians 6:11-12

I've known from the very beginning of this journey that my true struggle was not going to be physical. My real enemy was not the cancer, but rather THE enemy himself. Those first few months of realization of just what the future may have in store for me was the lowest period of my life. And yet the funny thing is when people asked me how I was doing the greatest I would venture to tell them was I was "a little blue". Wow, now that's an understatement! In reality during those first few months I was under complete attack. Night time was the worse. I could do well during the daylight hours. In fact at that time I believe that I over extended myself in busyness just to escape my mind. But nighttime, nighttime is a different story. The kids would be asleep, and everything would start to settle and I could literally feel an oppressiveness come over me. It was a physical feeling that I knew stemmed from the spiritual world. I could even see a darkness out of the corner of my eyes. A darkness that I knew was going to envelope me.

I can see why now some people when encountered with some great devastation in their lives can become addicted to alcohol or pain killers. There was a part of me that was grateful for the great amount of pain I was in because I had a good excuse to use the painkillers. I must admit, not only did it dull the physical pain, it also dulled the demons in my head.

It wasn't until I decided to let God be in charge (see blog titled "It's Still Not About Me" ) that I found the strength to fight this. This strength was not of my own, but of God. I put on that Belt of Truth; that no weapon formed against me shall prevail. I put on the Breastplate of Righteousness and understood that if God is on my side who can be against me? The Boots of Peace in knowing that God can and will give me a peace beyond all understanding. The Shield of Faith: faith that He has plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans for a hope and a future. The Helmet of Salvation that would protect my mind from the whisperings of the enemy and all his lies. And finally, the Sword of the Spirit, the very Word of God that can bring me comfort in all circumstances.

The demons have left the building...yet I know they still lurk, waiting for a chance to pounce.

I'm dressed and ready for them.