Blessings

In the words of Monty Python, "And now for something completely different." Let's discuss the blessings of this yucky disease. First of all, let me say that I have never felt so loved. Even total strangers amaze me at their kindness and generosity. The Lord is constantly blessing us through the body of Christ. Financially things are tight. Even with the best medical insurance this disease can be a financial strain. But the Lord has used people time and time again to help us through. I know we don't need to worry about such things, He is faithful and will always come through.

He has also surrounded me with the most amazing group of friends. These women are there for me to help turn "my wailing into dancing." At the last Race for the Cure we had 40 people sign up for Team Staci. It was such an honor to have so many race under my name. They say that those with a strong support system have a better chance of survival. My friends have made my chances of beating this disease skyrocket. They are there to let me cry on them or to just go shopping. I love you all so very much!!

Not only am I blessed with wonderful friends, but an incredible family. I think so often that we take the people in our lives for granted. We think they will always be there and we get too used to them being around. I have a wonderful husband. Oh sure, he can make me crazy as only husbands can, but he has been through the ringer with me. Actually, when someone gets cancer, the whole family gets cancer. It is so hard, but Rob has loved me through it all. I read somewhere that many marriages suffer divorce at the hands of this challenge, and I think how very sad. Where would I be without Rob's love and support? He makes me feel desirable when I feel about as ugly as they come. After the mastectomy and reconstruction I have dealt with and am continuing to deal with body issues. I refer to my new breasts as Frankenboobs. An attepmt at being funny and yet still describing how I truly feel about them. It is hard to feel attractive when you are bald and you've lost even your eyelashes and eyebrows. You can't help but look a little weird when those go. Sometimes I feel like I look like a concentration camp victim. Yet Rob always makes me feel attractive and loved.

Then there are my girls. They are truly the joy of my life. I look at them and realize that no matter what, a part of me lives on through them. They amaze me at how smart, beautiful and talented they are. They bless me with their love, laughter and their interesting and different take of the world. I love to watch them and see things again for the first time through their eyes. They remind me just how magical this world and the people in it are.

Then there is to joy of experiencing God throughout this mess. I must admit that my faith has been challenged beyond a point that I thought it could survive. I have faltered, but ultimatly not only has my faith in the Lord survived, it has thrived. I see nature in a whole new way. I love watching birds and how the flit from tree to tree and how each has a different song. I love the sound of rushing water and how rain hitting the pavement sounds like bacon frying. I love how the smell of honeysuckle fills my senses and a baby's laughter makes my heart spring into a smile.

I think people kind of have a romantic view of how their life will change dramatically if they are diagnosed with a terminal disease. I know I did. I thought that suddenly nothing insignificant would bother me. And I must admit, my view has changed dramatically at what is insignificnat and what is not. But unfortunatly, I still struggle on occasion. I guess it is a good thing I have a Savior to help me through. So that is another blessing, I have learned so much over the last several months, thing that I want to share with you and will over the next blogs.