I've always thought of myself as a "the glass is half full" kind of person. Usually I am pretty upbeat. I know it makes some people uncomfortable when I say negative things about my prognosis. There are people that feel that I should always think and say positive things. I want to make it very clear that from a spiritual point of view I KNOW that God would only have to say the word and I would instantly be healed. The question is will He chose to do that? I don't know.
I feel that there is a fine line between being positive and being in denial. The medical reality is my prognosis couldn't get any poorer. I have stage 4 cancer, there is no stage 5. I have the most aggressive and hardest to kill tumor level, level 3. There is no level 4. So from a medical standpoint things don't look good.
Some people have told me that Jesus wants to heal eveyone. I believe that is true, but for whatever reason He doesn't do it. I've seen several people cling to the hope that God will heal them. They later die and there are some who subtly suggest that the deceased just didn't have enough faith. I know that I'm not speaking to the majority of you, but when you have cancer these people come out of the woodwork. They mean well, but I truly believe that their thinking is wrong. I always wonder if they convince themselves of this "truth" for fear that it may happen to them. If and when bad things do happen to them, do they wonder where their lack of faith came from?
No, I TRULY believe that God could heal me of this disease, but as of yet He has not given me any indication that He will. The real question is, will I trust Him no matter what path He has chosen for me.....
Yes!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Staci,
You are amazing.You do have something to say and I believe many will want to hear it. I love you,
Shellie
Staci, I'm so glad you are doing a blog. You are right, sometimes it is hard to hear these things in person, but I want to know the hard things you have to say.
Love you!
Jermaine
Staci, glad to hear your voice through these posts. I have actually been thinking about the subject of healing a lot lately; specifically around your situation and a friend at my church just passed on last week after a long fight. You may recall I grew up on the Word-Faith side of the fence; many voices saying that it's one's faith that determines the result; if that were the case we wouldn't need Christ or His Holy Spirit. I have/am still working out the truth that Christ's main mission was for our eternal relationship with God. Our temporal body, while seemingly precious to us, is not nearly so important to God as our relationship with Him. Many will also suggest some greater good or ultimate purpose for our current struggles; something about God's mysterious ways. As a consistent theological explanation, I don't know about that. Sounds like salt in the wound of a hurt to me. I think, sometimes, crap is just crap and has nothing to do with the will or purposes of God; they are simply the horrible artifacts of a broken world. One thing we can hold as true, and it appears you are in full grasp of this promise, God is with us at every moment. May God continue to reveal His grace and love to you and your family. - Kevin L.
To trust Him even when you know you may not be healed takes a greater faith...I am so proud of you!!!!! so is He :) He is glorified thru you and His strength is being made perfect in your weakness!
Perhaps the confusion is that we believe the body and soul are as one. In prayer to God for healing, search inside, not physical (albeit it's nice too), to find blessings received. Your strength has also allowed God a moment to reach others. Many of us keep a very thick wall of protection up...this leaves little room for good to enter...God bless
Post a Comment