As most of you know, within 24 hours of announcing my remission I had a major setback. The chemotherapy has eaten through some of the lining of my nose and as a result I had a MASSIVE nose bleed. It was like a faucet! It took 16 hours, a trip to the emergency room and several trips to an ENT to get it under control. The Dr. ended up packing my nose with several differnt packs over a 9 day period. These packs are amazingly huge. When he was coming at me with them I kept thinking there in NO way that huge thing is going to fit in my face. To say the least it was very uncomfortable. If the packs didn't work I was going to have to have surgery to cauterize the lining of my nose. This was a big concern because the chemo was not allowing my body to heal properly. I still have an unhealed wound from a surgery I had last October if that is any indication on how slow my body is healing at the moment. Yesterday I had the final pack removed. Ouch! I was totally expecting my brain to pop out of my nose and land smack on my lap! Everything so far has gone great. No bleeding, but I am still on high alert for a couple more weeks. I'm not allowed to do any housework ( darn). And I still have to sleep sitting up in a recliner. A small price to pay for saving my nose. I want to sincerely thank everyone for your prayers during all of this. I KNOW it made a big difference. Which brings me to why would God allow this to happen in the first place? Instead of jumping up and down and yelling yipee at my remission news I was miserable and pumped up on happy pills. I don't have the answers but still I trust His decision to allow this setback. I think it just makes me all the happier that I am now on my way towards a more normal life and towards healing.
I am going to take some time off from blogging for a while. I hope it has made you think about what is important and what is not. I hope it has made you ask yourself what you really believe about Him and his goodness. I know this has been very therapeutic for me. I may be back later and I may not. It depends on Him and how He leads me, because the Father really does know best!
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2 comments:
Bummer, Staci. I have learned more from what you are experiencing than you can know, but the one thing that sticks out more than anything is WE CAN TRUST GOD WITH EVERYTHING. Your example of faith and trust has resonated with me. "Greater love has no man than this..." Thank you!
We will miss hearing from you...I hope He leads you to blog some more :)
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